Time is passing by so quickly that sometimes I feel like I am being overcome by a tidal wave, desperate to hold on to the family I love so much, as they were then, as they are now. A part of me mourns the memories of years past, and yearns for the chance to pick up my babies one last time, to blow raspberries on their bellies, and to be Mommy in a way that is lost as boys grow into men and girls into women. But, every day, as I lose a bit of what was, I am blessed by what is here now, and by the gifts that I didn’t know I didn’t have because their time had not yet come.

Jordan and Rylee’s engagement session was one of those gifts.

Jordan is my nephew, but I sort of claim him as my first born. I was just starting my journey into adulthood when he came into our lives with his curly black hair and large, puppy dog eyes which melted my heart. I can still hear his sweet voice calling me “Titi.” (We are Puerto Rican, and Titi means aunt in Spanish). I can still see his pudgy little hands as they reached up to grab mine. I can still feel the warmth of his loving personality, of his selfless, giving soul.

Actually, that’s a part of him that hasn’t changed.

When Logan, my real first born came along three years later, Jordan became the big brother Logan never had. I loved when Jordan would come to stay with us because I wanted to foster a relationship between them that would last forever. Jordan made Logan laugh before he could crawl, he fed him for me, he sang for him, and they became the best of friends. Now, 18 years later, they still are.

No, I am not Jordan’s mommy. He doesn’t need me for that because he has one of the best. But I do love that boy.

Then, I blinked.

From the moment I met Rylee, I knew she was special. And as I got to know her better, I grew to love her more. She is godly, and loving, and gorgeous, and smart. She is gracious, and funny, and giving… and she loves our Jordan.

I am blessed with a family that I like as much as I love. I have said before that they were the people I was given, but they are also the people I would choose.

I’m thankful Jordan chose Rylee. She just… fits.

So as they braved below freezing temperatures to nail what is by far my favorite session of my photography career, I was not bothered in the least by the cold. I was warmed by the laughs we had, and by the certainty that their union is ordained.

Yes, I will always treasure the memories of the past, and a part of me will always long to live in them again for just one moment. But if times like these are what the future holds… bring it on.

 

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