We are lied to every single day. Hollywood, corporate media, social media, all show us a glimpse into the lives people live, and we are slowly convinced that our existence is less than in comparison. We don’t look like them, we don’t live like them, we are less than them… but what I think we know in the back of our minds somehow doesn’t make its way into our belief systems: THEY don’t live or look like that either. The images and the experiences we see portrayed every day are NOT REAL LIFE. They are a highlight reel of good times, made more beautiful by good lighting, good angles, and photoshop.

We are ALL imperfect. Those imperfections, those low points in life, those mistakes we make, those struggles we muddle through… we become stronger through them, we learn lessons by them. They become our testimony, and when we are transparent enough to share those experiences with other and help them grow… we become better people and we help others become better too… there is beauty in that.

The conundrum I faced as a Senior Photographer, is that I want to create an experience for my Seniors where they feel like and are treated like a star. We go through a whole process to make sure that while their portraits look like them and celebrate who they are, they are also styled and made up to be the “best” version of themselves. We use posing, angles, lighting, and retouching, all to satisfy those social standards of beauty. Our sessions create a highlight reel that I hope they will look back on for years to come as one of the most memorable parts of senior year. It is meant to be all in fun, to show my seniors a version of themselves they don’t necessarily see day to day… but how do I also show them that THAT version of them is not more valuable than the every day version that sometimes has pimples and sometimes is bloated, and sometimes is moody, and sometimes is so tired that the best they can do is just do nothing for a bit, and that’s ok?

What I realized is that I don’t have to show them, because really, deep down they know. They KNOW the rules of social media. They KNOW that what they themselves post to their pages shows more of the “ups” and rarely shares the “down,” All I have to do is give them the occasion to THINK about it, and to vocalize their thoughts on it. It is my hope that being intentional in thinking about their worth will better help them recognize the pitfalls of media. It will help them to consciously recognize that (as they say) comparison is the thief of joy, especially when what we compare ourselves to is only a mirage.

So for several years now, members of our Senior Rep Team have participated in “Project Beauty,” to share their thoughts about what True Beauty means to them. This year, some of the girls were joined by their moms, which made the Project Beauty experience even more meaningful.

The girls, and this year their moms, are invited to this photoshoot, but they wear no makeup, not even tinted moisturizer. On my end, I don’t do any “beauty” retouching to the images, such as smoothing skin, or brightening smiles… I only make the images black and white. Then, to get their images, the girls share a few sentences about what true beauty means to them. When we look at their images it is easy to see what they may not see in themselves… they ARE beautiful just as they are! When we read their words, we see their inner beauty, and that is powerful.

In 2022, we invited the Team moms to join us, in a show of solidarity with the girls. I’m 50 years old, and I know the things I’ve just written about to be true, but I STILL find myself diving into self doubt. My skin is wrinkled and my shape is a lot more fluffy than in was 20 years ago… by societal standards of beauty I’m going downhill… but there IS beauty in the imperfection. I just figured us moms could use the reminder of this as much as the 18-year-olds. I’m so grateful for these women for their words of wisdom.

But I’ll let you read them, and see their images for yourselves:

Emily: “True beauty is found in who you are as a person- in your character. Beauty shines through the kindness, love, and grace that we extend towards others. Despite the cliché, beauty is found on the inside. Inward beauty shines on the outside when we love others, and it is often found in smiles, kind words, and actions. We are each beautiful in our own ways, because we have all been made by God uniquely. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ‘Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.’ ”

Sarah: “True beauty is having a heart to serve and love others. Beauty is within us. It’s like a light that shines from within us, and it gets brighter and more beautiful when we show love to everyone around us. My favorite Bible verse about beauty is this: ‘Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.’ ” 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV

(I found it lovely that mother and daughter quoted the same scripture, but neither had knowledge that the other used it.)

Cameron: “I believe that true beauty comes from within and is achieved through one’s kindness and service towards others. I think that inner and outer beauty are in direct correlation with one another, and when a person is truly beautiful on the inside then it shows on the outside. Oftentimes society puts a standard on what “true beauty” is without recognizing how many different ways that beauty can be perceived.  Beauty is found through a person’s uniqueness and because of this I do not believe that there is one true standard of beauty, no matter what society tries to encourage people to believe.”

Madison: “True beauty is the ability to accept your flaws and become appreciative of your natural beauty. Confidence overrides doubt. And in my opinion, when one is confident with themselves, they can conquer the world. Accepting the natural features God gave you and becoming comfortable within them is a difficult task when we now have platforms such as social media that only portrays the ‘positive’ and ‘prettiest.’ Everyone is unique in their own way, if we want to change our looks and personality based upon what social media portrays as ‘ideal’ we will loose our acceptance of diversity and ability to favor our flaws. Therefore, when one has the strength and confidence to override the insecurities these platforms may bring, confidence will thrive and their true beauty will radiate.”

Kathy: “They say, ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.’ I believe this is so true. Each culture has its own identity and defines beauty based on the unique characteristics of its people. Also, people have varying opinions of whom they find attractive; therefore, there is no particular formula for defining what is beautiful. Unfortunately, our society has deemed beauty as being youthful, slim, and flawless…. basically ‘perfect.’ The problem is perfection doesn’t exist. Beauty lies in the wisdom of accepting your flaws and realizing they just are part of you….which is hard when you’re young, and you care too much about others’ opinions. With age, comes wisdom. I am so much more confident in myself than I was 30 years ago, which probably sounds crazy because with age, I carry extra weight, stretch marks, and now those dreaded lines in my face….yet, I worry less about what others think of me….crazy, right? But, if I’m honest, I still have my insecurities. My husband tells me all the time that I am beautiful just as I am, and I get more beautiful the older I get. I wish I could believe him. He says he wishes I could see myself the way he sees me….I do, too. I think women my age need to learn to accept that aging is just part of life and really dig deep into ourselves and find the beauty within and focus more on our inside than our outside. We all, no matter what age we are, need to take the focus off ourselves and place our priorities in making this world a better place for everyone. Be kind. Help others in need. Celebrate this wonderful life we’ve been given. Focus on our positives, and give ourselves the break we give others. It is difficult to place an exact definition on beauty, but I think beauty is acceptance, confidence, happiness, and kindness. We can all be beautiful ….we just need to believe it!”

Rachel: “I think true beauty isn’t necessarily what meets the eye. I believe it’s what lies beneath the surface. It’s how someone acts and treats other in a way that portrays their heart and what kind of person they are. A quote that I used to be obsessed with was ‘happy girls are the prettiest’ -Audrey Hepburn. Yes, one’s appearance can be considered beautiful and pleasing to the eye but true beauty is when you show your happiness and what’s within.”

Cathy: “To me, Beauty can’t be seen in a mirror. Beauty is being able to embrace and celebrate who you are; your uniqueness, your talents your values. It’s about having integrity and a pure heart.”