That thing you hate about yourself? That isn’t YOU

I think we all have it. You know what I’m talking about. It’s that “thing” we hate about ourselves. It is what we first notice when we look in the mirror or when we look down at our own body. It feels like there is a blinking neon arrow pointed straight at it, doesn’t it? We are SURE that everyone who looks at us is hyper focused on it too… because how could the NOT be? It’s so obnoxious and obvious.

But I’m here to tell you that they aren’t. That neon arrow? We make it bigger and brighter with negative self-talk. And we let it get in the way of our happiness and contentment. We let it stand between us and the people around us.

I know when I struggle with confidence, my instinct is to retreat from others. I tend to interpret every message and interaction in a negative light. I convince myself that everyone else must see me like I see me and makes me feel isolated, alone.

Can you relate? WHY do we do that?

Every day, we consume images that show us unattainable beauty standards. We know we can’t compare, so it hurts our confidence. The thing is, NO ONE compares to that perfection. It’s a mirage. Please don’t buy it.

We teach kindness to others… I say let’s be kind to ourselves

But let me ask you… do you think the same way about others that you think about yourself? Do you hold them to the same standard? When you look at a friend, or a loved one, or a nice stranger you run across, does your mind go straight to the “flaws” in their physical appearance?

I’m willing to bet not. I’m willing to bet that what you really notice is the totality of who they are and how the interactions with them make you feel.

I’m willing to bet when and if you do notice their “thing,” you think of it with much more grace than how you measure yourself.

I know I do.

We know that we don’t get a full picture from social media. But somehow we’ve trained our minds to limit how we see ourselves, the person we know best, to very superficial and unforgiving standards.

I think a way to combat those negative thoughts is to capture them and to deliberately challenge them.

The Project Beauty Challenge

The challenge is to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others. Every year our Senior Rep Team takes on that challenge by participating in Project Beauty. Team members set aside their insecurities to be photographed with no makeup, and we don’t alter the pictures with any beauty edits.

I work hard in my work as a photographer to make only subtle changes to the people in my photograph. It is important to me that we keep the essence of who they are in their portraits… but I DO make changes to the pictures. The idea is that I want my clients look like themselves on their best day.

Remember what I said about how we see people for the totality of who they are, but that images aren’t as forgiving? It’s true. If we are chatting face to face, you may not notice that I have a zit on my cheek, but in a portrait that is something that will be immediately noticeable. My rule of thumb in retouching is: “if it wasn’t there two weeks ago, and if it won’t be there in two weeks… it won’t be in your portraits either.”

We use Project Beauty to show that our value and worth is defined neither by our flaws nor the polish and shine we use to hide them. We are all perfectly imperfect, created for a purpose. And there is BEAUTY in that.

What is True Beauty

If the social media standards of beauty we consume are mostly lies, then what IS true Beauty? Team 2024 and their moms came up with some thoughts about that. They chose to actively think about what is true, and agreed to be transparent enough to share those thoughts with us.

This is year 6 of Project Beauty. I invite you to type it in the search bar to see our past blogs. The first year we did it was in 2018. That year I included Team 2018 but we also photographed girls of all ages. If you click on the link and go back to look at that blog, you will see baby Karlie Futrell. She had wise words then as an 11 year-old. This is what she has to say in her senior year:

Hannah

Hannah’s mom, Lisa added:

“Beauty is more than what we see. It is a reflection of someone’s character and personality. The way that you treat people and how you treat yourself shows real beauty. True beauty should inspire goodness and love in others since it is an attribute of God. A positive spirit and a love for people will be remembered far longer than an outward appearance.  I pray that inner beauty is something that our children have inherited from my husband and I.

The Senior Rep Team of 2024 has many different personalities and I can’t wait to read the many different ways they define True Beauty.  Their inward and outer beauty definitely work in harmony with one another!”

Claudia

“True beauty comes from God, and I feel beauty is found within the heart.

When I hear the words “beauty” or “beautiful” I always think “inside and out.” I’ve always believed everyone is beautiful in their own way but, true beauty comes within who you are; who God has made you to be.

As a teenage girl I’ve found myself comparing my beauty, to others on social media. I’ve tried to define my worth based on the way I look, the things I wear, and just how I present myself on the outer layer verses just embracing who I am and showing my heart.

God tells us in Ephesians, we are valuable for what we cost; as one loved by God, is also chosen by God. God also says in Solomon 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”

As a girl we tend to pay more attention to those imperfections, rather than just embracing them as uniqueness in who we are. Beauty isn’t always found through makeup, clothes, fake tans, or editing apps. Beauty is found within your heart, your character, and a child of God.”

Meagan

Meagan’s mom, Sheri wrote:

“What is beauty? With the readiness of images through social media, the use of filters, lighting, and all things to make the outer shell seem more perfect, many people focus on this as beauty. 

A person can be beautiful on the outside, but inner beauty is so much more. Inner beauty exudes from from the inside to that outer shell. It can change the outer perception of an individual. It is exemplified in a person’s action and words.  It is about building others up not tearing them down.

Words can be like knives that can slowly take someone down. Beauty is words of encouragement, kindness, and filled with self reflection. Actions speak volumes to those watching from a distance. Be the one that others can truly look up to for what you do when you think no one is watching.”

Let’s make a deal… let’s try to capture that negative self-talk and take little steps everyday to let go of those insecurities. We know they are lies. Let’s be as kind to ourselves as we are to others.

XOXO, Lymarie